[On Saturday, the world kept spinning around and I felt it so profoundly]
[And even when you lost your daughter, mother,
it kept spinning and spinning around]
[And in the sky, swallows flying and singing at my arrival]
[On Saturday afternoon I saw you climb and descend, mother]
[And you taught me everything about death directly to my flesh, my tears and without theory]
I wished the world to stop its merciless movement as I stand in the hall between two bedrooms.
The door on the left … open to your dying daughter, staring at the void, at the flying birds only she can see.
The door on the right … a shrine where you sit, pray and wait to ask me for the (im)possible, mother.
In the hall between there is a woman's statue; we meet, and you listen …
You are the denying mother, in the hall between.
In the left room, your daughter breathes no more, mother.
“She breathes no more.”
And you become all the beasts in nature losing their cubs, angry mother.
You punch hard on my chest,
with your mother's empty hands,
as if you were resuscitating her in my body [but no punch will bring her back to life, mother].
“You give her life and save her.”
Offering me God and all saints and richness,
you bargain, mother, in the middle of screaming and fighting nature, in the hall between.
You punch my heart as a final redoubt and leave ghostly to the room next door
of the empty hall between.
I can hear your silent prayers moulting your husband's lullabies while I diagnose your daughter's absence.
In the hall between you thank me for saving her …
“She is breathing so calmly now …”
“I could not save her from her death. She is dead, mother.”
And you cry and curse me. You punch my soul with all your tears, crying mother.
In the hall between, I have seen you happen between life and death, mother.
And I pray to offer you acceptance [but that calls for time to happen]
[On Saturday, the world kept spinning around and I felt it so profoundly in my body and soul]
[Please forgive me, mother, for the flying and singing swallows]
[Please forgive me, mother, for the heaviness of your daughter´s death in the hall between]
