Reflect for a moment on the number of times you have been drawn into situations or relationship issues that, if truly honest, you would have preferred to avoid — if only you knew how. Sometimes, it can prove quite difficult to meet societal and workplace expectations without compromising one's own autonomy and ultimately experiencing a loss of personal freedom in the process. Some time ago, I came across a rather amusing statement that seemed to offer a light-hearted means by which one might effectively draw a line of demarcation between maintaining one's personal boundaries and the attempt of another to encroach upon those same boundaries. Although a seemingly frivolous statement, the expression ‘Not my circus; not my monkeys’ conveys a very distinct message that clearly separates the speaker from the problem being addressed. In essence, it highlights the presence of a boundary and the unwillingness of the speaker to take ownership of the issue at hand. This concept, even if restricted only to the thought processes of the individual, offers the momentary opportunity for that person to briefly evaluate the issue in question and make a choice. Implementing personal boundaries efficiently while demonstrating respect and consideration for others is a skill — one that requires practice to master, but also one that offers the reward of increased personal freedom and self-empowerment.

I Power: The Freedom to be Me focuses strongly upon the recognition of personal boundaries and on the need for individuals to be in control of their own decisions or choices without being made to do, or to feel, anything by another person. It challenges the concept of others being expected to make a person ‘happy’, offering instead the premise that people have the ability to choose the effect others may have upon them, and that each person is responsible for his/her own feelings. Developing an understanding of brain function and the various ways in which expectations can lay the foundation for what one may or may not feel in response to situation or an event helps the individual to identify the origin of problems that can arise in relationships (personal or workplace) and also determine the best possible response.

This publication is divided into two sections. Part I, ‘Basic Principles’, contains an overview of the concept of boundaries and issues of stress and fear and the related brain and body responses, including an explanation of the function of the emotional brain and the manner in which it differs between individuals. This section provides the foundation for the reader to contemplate developing and applying a boundary focus. Part II, ‘Boundaries in Action’, considers the origin and flexibility of boundaries across various relationships, some common misconceptions, the use of boundaries in a clinical setting, and the issues that can arise as a result of either the absence of boundaries or poorly managed boundaries. It encourages the reader to engage in rational and well thought out decision making, as opposed to making a rash decision based upon an immediate pre-programmed response that has its roots in prior teaching, social expectations, or past experience. This section explores the effects of silent, inner speech and also offers guidance regarding how best to relate to others who have a problem, suggesting that while everyone does have a right to their own opinion, that opinion should not necessarily be taken to heart. It further offers a range of tools and strategies that may be applied in a variety of settings.

While the topic of personal boundaries and the need to manage them effectively has been addressed over quite a number of years and through various publications, it remains a topic worthy of ongoing consideration. For individuals immersed in a fast-paced society and experiencing an intense lifestyle, issues of stress, pressure, and fear remain very real. As such, it behoves us to acknowledge our own limitations and retain a healthy respect for our own personal boundaries. I Power: The Freedom to be Me serves as a timely reminder of the need to not only understand but also utilise such knowledge in the interest of fostering more productive relationships in every aspect of life.

This publication is particularly easy to read, uses clear language, and provides a range of descriptive images to highlight key concepts, together with numerous examples to illustrate the central message. At times, simple sketches are used in conjunction with written text. For those interested, this volume could prove a very useful tool for personal development as well as a suitable aid for assisting others to understand the significance of the content and expand their own skills accordingly.