In April 2001 I was admitted to the mental health unit at Chase Farm Hospital in North London suffering from severe anxiety and panic disorder; it was quite a frightening experience to find myself in those surroundings. The mental health unit sounded to me like I was mad or something; now I know it is different and realise that many people have mental health problems and need help sometime in their lives, and the environment of a hospital is needed to help people on their way to recovery.

Before I was admitted I suffered for a couple of years not being able to go out on my own and even when I was with my husband I quite often would run out of shops because of my panic. I did not socialise much for fear of people seeing me in an anxiety state. I suppose I was ashamed of how I felt, then again, now I know different and will tell people of my past and be proud of what I have achieved.

Out of a really bad experience came something positive and really interesting for me. While I was on the ward I realised how the patients looked out for one another; there was a common bond between them even though some had more severe conditions than others. They were all united in their determination to help one another. I was only on the ward for 3 weeks and when I returned home started the long process of getting well; I think it started to happen slowly when I finally accepted what was wrong with me and I gradually lost the fear, although I personally think that anxiety never leaves you permanently – it is how you deal with and handle it that is the key to success.

After I had been home for about 3 months, I got a phone call from a lady whom I had met on the ward; she had been readmitted and she asked me if I would visit her. I felt quite frightened of the prospect of going anywhere near the hospital again. However, this lady had been particularly kind to me while I was on the ward and I faced my fear and went to visit her. It was one of the best moves I have ever made. I continued to visit her two or three times a week for the 6 months that she was in the hospital. I began to get to know all the different patients and thoroughly enjoyed talking to them all and seeing their progress. This gave me the idea that I would like to help people and maybe run a support group for them.

I had found something that I was good at, I communicated well with the patients and I think they in turn liked me because they knew that I had been in a similar situation and was beginning to enjoy my life again. I was one of the lucky ones. I have a loving and supportive husband, son and daughter-in-law; some people go home and have no support. I wanted to help, and what better place than the place that had helped me!

While seeing Dr Blaj in the out-patients clinic, I mentioned my idea to him and he was quite enthusiastic and contacted Mr OliverTreacy (Director of Mental Health) about the idea. After a few letters were exchanged, Mr Treacy found a place I could use as a meeting room one day per week. Now all I needed was to build up the group and get people to attend. I thought about names and Staywell came into my mind. I thought this quite appropriate as that was the purpose of the group to help people manage their everyday lives a little easier and realise that they are not alone in how they feel.

I know at the beginning there were a few sceptics about an ex-patient doing this, as they thought it wouldn’t last; now I have been running this group for over 3 years. It was not easy at the beginning; it was a lot of hard work persuading people to attend; people do not like change, especially when they are unwell. However, all the hard work has paid off; I have successfully completed and passed my CPCAB (Counselling and Psychotherapy Central Awarding Body) counselling skills exam and I am halfway through a counselling studies course. All of this is like a miracle to me and I am doing something that I enjoy so much; seeing people start the group they are often just an observer but within a few weeks they are contributing and really enjoying the experience.

There are now about 25 members on the register and between 14 and 18 attend each week. I produce a monthly newsletter and I am always there to listen to the problems of others. Staywell has become like a club and I know that if I had the funds I would certainly do more than I am doing now. I would love to make Staywell available to more people.

Also when patients are discharged from the day hospital they are still coming back to Staywell as it gives them a link with the hospital which is very beneficial for them; the group is now an important part of the day hospital programme. I have now a very good deputy and helper who will stand in for me when needed and I know that the group has helped her immensely as it has done for so many others. I will continue to do my best and make Staywell the success it has become.

I have also recently been able to use the group as others have and found out first hand how beneficial it is; a few months ago I had a rather nasty bout of Salmonella infection and was hospitalised. I was quite ill and this left me feeling rather low to say the least. The next thing I knew I had suffered a re-occurrence of my panic disorder; the group members were all very supportive towards me and it made me realise that they have all picked up the skills of listening and helping others.

I am now on the road to recovery and I am so proud of what I have achieved with Staywell and even prouder of its dedicated members. Certificates of achievement are given when a member is able to fulfil something that they usually find difficult, and this gives them a boost and also makes them realise how everyone is behind them in their fight to get well.

Well that’s what Staywell is all about and how it got started; I would like to thank Dr Blaj for having faith in me and Mr Oliver Treacy and the Barnet, Enfield and Haringey Mental Health NHS Trust for their continued support.