This chapter shows how the competitive market for cures outlined in the initial two chapters of the book shaped healers’ self-promotion on the page and negotiations of care in consultation rooms. It begins with a servant maid who allegedly infected the children under her care by sweating near them in a shared bed. A venereal healer took the case, but the maid obstructed his clinical work by repeatedly lying to him. She likely feared for her reputation and her job. Because a diagnosis of venereal disease was deeply shameful, patients like the maid were said to be unreliable narrators. The chapter recovers the intimate details of thirty-two such encounters and how healers brandished their expertise by claiming to navigate the constraints of allegedly dishonest patients. Because patients’ words were so unreliable, they instead turned to obversions of bodies to diagnose disease in ways that foreshadowed clinical practices of the 1800s. And yet, the majority of these cases end with words. Confessions of lurid trysts and scandalous relationships confirmed the existence of unlawful sex, and therefore that cases were venereal, which further validated healers’ diagnostic know-how.