The authors of the target article suggest that men typically want relationships more and end them less. They also argue that men benefit more from relationships and suffer more from breakups. We agree with the observations, but question the ultimate causes they propose. For example, it is stated that men “benefit more from having a romantic partner because their partner typically does most of the daily chores and activities at home, leaving men with fewer chores and more time for other, more enjoyable activities than when they are single”. It is also suggested that positive influences on “men’s mental and physical health … at least partially explain why men are less likely to end romantic relationships.” We find it implausible that possible health benefits or relief from household chores affect present motivations for a relationship. For example, Raz-Yurovich, Okun, and Ben-Avi (Reference Raz-Yurovich, Okun and Ben-Avi2024) found that while housework may correspond to three hours per day for a family with children, the division of that time was unrelated to breakup probability. Moreover, the role of emotional support remains obscure because studies typically use items that ask about the amount received, not if it is too little, partnership status has very little effect, and the causal direction is indeterminable. Traits that cause subjective experiences of low support may also cause experiences and behaviors associated with poor health and relationships, for example.

Rather, we propose that the causes are likely to be found in the interaction between evolved sex differences and environmental conditions that have changed rapidly due to industrialization. This is based on an evolutionary perspective that is mentioned but not pursued in the target article, as well as on societal changes that were neither considered.

As predicted by parental investment theory and broader evolutionary selection pressures (Archer, Reference Archer2019) substantial sex differences exist in personality traits, including interests and preferences (Lippa, Reference Lippa2010), which contribute to large outcome differences, in, for example, occupational choice (Stern & Madison, Reference Stern and Madison2022; Stoet & Geary, Reference Stoet and Geary2022) and child care (Bleske-Rechek & Gunseor, Reference Bleske-Rechek and Gunseor2021). Males are more able and willing to perform dangerous, unpleasant, and physically demanding tasks, even to the point of defending their spouse and family through aggression and deadly violence (Archer, Reference Archer2019). Tasks that might be more palatable or feasible for men than for women include heavy and dangerous work (Stergiou-Kita et al., Reference Stergiou-Kita, Mansfield, Bezo, Colantino, Garritano and Lafrance2015). Those types of skills are now less needed within families, as technological and regulatory changes have rerouted them to experts.

Females typically desire a partner with a higher social status than themselves (Geary, Vigil, & Byrd-Craven, Reference Geary, Vigil and Byrd-Craven2017). Social status is a reliable indicator of providing resources in competition, as well as genes that confer the same advantageous traits to offspring. For example, college women rated their minimum acceptance level of income for a husband at the 70^th percentile, leaving only 30% of men eligible (Kenrick et al., Reference Kenrick, Sadalla, Groth and Trost1990). This preference is reflected in the real-world pattern of males earning more than their female partners, while high-earning females are less likely to be partnered at all (Almås et al., Reference Almås, Kotsadam, Moen and Roed2020). The proportion of men who can match women in terms of education and income is dwindling (Stoet & Geary, Reference Stoet and Geary2020). This inevitably plays out in income, such that women earn at least as much as men per worked hour (Erosa, Fuster, & Restuccia, Reference Erosa, Fuster and Restuccia2016).

Males typically have stronger and more frequent sexual desire across the lifespan, while females’ sexual desire peaks around 30 and a steep decreasing trend starts at around 45 years of age (Santtila et al., Reference Santtila, Wager, Witting, Harlaar, Jern and Johansson2008; Wieczorek et al., Reference Wieczorek, Chivers, Koehn, DeBruine and Jones2022). A longitudinal study showed that a decline in female sexual function with age was concurrent with menopausal stages and negatively correlated with both sex drive, sexual activity, and positive feelings for the partner (Dennerstein, Dudley, & Burger, Reference Dennerstein, Dudley and Burger2001). Across 211 studies and more than half a million participants, the meta-analytical effect size of sex upon sex drive was 0.69 (Frankenbach et al., Reference Frankenbach, Weber, Loschelder, Kilger and Friese2022), a pattern consistent across 53 nations (Lippa, Reference Lippa2009).

Romantic relationships are voluntary and shaped by perceived costs and benefits. These costs and benefits have always been asymmetrical across the sexes, especially in regard to sexuality and reproduction (Baumeister & Vohs, Reference Baumeister and Vohs2004). The contributions to a long-term relationship that males are typically better at providing are in very small demand in industrialized welfare states. With society’s increasing provision of resources, leisure, safety, and security, and the average male’s wealth, status, and other resources being comparable to those of the average woman’s, the net benefit of a relationship might be limited or even negative to her. Sex differences in the speed of decline in sexual interest diminish males’ potential contributions to their spouses’ sexual fulfillment, while males’ higher but unfulfilled desire may be an obstacle for partnership harmony and satisfaction (Santtila et al., Reference Santtila, Wager, Witting, Harlaar, Jern and Johansson2008).

In summary, men risk losing something they find essential from a breakup, consistent with 59% of women but only 37% of men feeling that they could have a fully satisfying life as singles (Kaufman & Goldscheider, Reference Kaufman and Goldscheider2007), and perhaps related to men’s higher propensity to experience a lack of meaning, depression, and even risk of suicide (Shaw et al., Reference Shaw, Cullen, Graham, Lyall, Mackay and Okolie2021). We propose this to be the main reason for the behavioral patterns that the target article attempts to explain. Indeed, men living with a partner have much more sexual activity than those who do not (Beutel, Stöbel-Richter, & Brähler, Reference Beutel, Stöbel-Richter and Brähler2007, Fig. 2). A single male has statistically a small chance to find a partner, which decreases further with age. Middle age is also when parents become relieved of daily care for their children, reducing the demand in that domain as well. Hence, a much larger proportion of women seek divorce in middle age (Parker et al., Reference Parker, Durante, Hill and Haselton2022), leading to the high so-called gray divorce rate (Brown & Lin, Reference Brown and Lin2022). Historical comparisons of trends in the variables discussed above would be useful to further evaluate our proposed pattern of causal relationships (cf. Larsen, Reference Larsen2024).