Romantic relationships matter more for men’s well-being than women’s, partly because men rely more on their romantic partners for social and emotional support (Wahring, Simpson, & Van Lange). We agree with these central claims but argue that broader gender inequities inherent in patriarchal societies explain gender differences in the importance of romantic relationships for well-being. Man-woman romantic relationships offer men unique advantages, including access to women’s domestic labor and emotional support. In contrast, women are socialized to invest more in relationships, often carrying the bulk of emotional and household responsibilities while receiving fewer benefits (e.g., sexual fulfillment) and greater risks (e.g., intimate partner violence) compared to men. We argue that highlighting broader gender dynamics offers critical insight into why romantic relationships matter more to men than women.

As the target article notes, men are socialized to have fewer outlets for social and emotional support, contributing to their greater emotional dependence on romantic partners. Social roles that discourage men from expressing emotion also encourage emotional support provision in women, reinforced by benevolent sexism that idealizes women as nurturing caregivers (Barreto & Doyle, Reference Barreto and Doyle2023). Cross-cultural research supports these claims; men in patriarchal societies are worse at identifying and expressing emotions than men in feminine societies (Remondi et al., Reference Remondi, Compare, Tasca, Greco, Pievani, Poletti and Brugnera2020). In contrast, media aimed at women portrays romantic love as essential to fulfillment (Buijzen & Valkenburg, Reference Buijzen and Valkenburg2002), socializing women to see relational investment as central to their identity. The same gendered structures that set up men’s over-reliance on women for emotional support also underlie additional disparities in relationships that lead to greater benefits for men.

In man-woman romantic relationships, women often contribute more household labor than men (Dean, Churchill, & Ruppanner, Reference Dean, Churchill and Ruppanner2022; Krstić et al., Reference Krstić, Shen, Varty, Lam and Hideg2025; Reich-Stiebert, Froehlich, & Voltmer, Reference Reich-Stiebert, Froehlich and Voltmer2023; Robertson et al., Reference Robertson, Anderson, Hall and Kim2019), a disparity that often intensifies following the transition to parenthood (Kamp Dush et al., Reference Kamp Dush, Yavorsky and Schoppe-Sullivan2018; Heffernan et al., 2025). By framing women’s labor as an expression of love, benevolent sexism helps sustain structural inequalities in which women are expected to prioritize their relationships while men retain greater autonomy and status (Overall & Hammond, Reference Overall and Hammond2018). As a result, men often benefit from relationships without assuming the same costs, especially men higher in benevolent sexism (Hammond & Overall, Reference Hammond and Overall2015). During the COVID-19 lockdowns, women disproportionately took on household labor and childcare, while men spent more time on paid work and personal leisure (Del Boca et al., Reference Del Boca, Oggero, Profeta and Rossi2020; Waddell et al., Reference Waddell, Overall, Chang and Hammond2021). In man-woman relationships, men, on average, have more leisure time than women, and there are gender differences in the quality of that leisure. Women are more likely to experience leisure that is fragmented by multitasking, interruptions, and feelings of guilt – a pattern that is particularly salient in countries with more traditional gender roles (Mattingly & Blanchi, Reference Mattingly and Bianchi2003). This gap narrows or even reverses in more egalitarian societies, where women report leisure that is at least as restorative as men’s (Yerkes, Roeters, & Baxter, Reference Yerkes, Roeters and Baxter2018). This reversal underscores that these inequalities are not inevitable but are shaped by gendered social structures. Disparities in both the quantity and quality of leisure may help explain gender differences in well-being, as higher-quality leisure is associated with lower rates of depression, anxiety, and mortality (Fancourt et al., Reference Fancourt, Aughterson, Finn, Walker and Steptoe2021). These patterns shift in singlehood – following the dissolution of a relationship, men spend more time on household chores and women spend less (Baxter, Hewitt, & Haynes, Reference Baxter, Hewitt and Haynes2008; Gupta, Reference Gupta1999; Hewitt, Haynes, & Baxter, Reference Hewitt, Haynes and Baxter2013). Having to take on responsibilities previously outsourced to their partner and having less leisure time could partially explain why men are less happy when they are single (Hoan & MacDonald, Reference Hoan and MacDonald2024; Kim, Park, & Kim, Reference Kim, Park and Kim2022) and therefore re-enter relationships more quickly than women (Brumbaugh & Fraley, Reference Brumbaugh and Fraley2015). Together, these patterns suggest that structural gender inequities may help explain why men tend to (Kamp Dush et al., Reference Kamp Dush, Yavorsky and Schoppe-Sullivan2018) benefit more from romantic relationships, while women often bear greater responsibility, which can negatively impact their well-being.

The flip side of men benefiting more from romantic relationships is that women benefit less. Consider the domain of sexuality. The target article highlights sex as a key factor in men’s dependence on romantic relationships; a dynamic that also reflects broader gender inequities. Sexual scripts frame men as assertive and entitled to express their sexual needs (Hanna-Walker et al., Reference Hanna-Walker, Busby, Moore and Holmes2024; Wiederman, Reference Wiederman, DeLamater and Plante2015), while framing women as sexually submissive and responsible for accommodating their partner’s desires (Conroy, Krishnakumar, & Leone, Reference Conroy, Krishnakumar and Leone2015; Impett & Peplau, Reference Impett and Peplau2003). The heteronormativity theory of low sexual desire argues that women’s lower desire in man-woman relationships reflects a structural response to gender inequities that prioritize men’s pleasure and reinforce women’s nurturant roles, domestic labor, and sexual objectification (van Anders et al., Reference Van Anders, Herbenick, Brotto, Harris and Chadwick2021). The same systems that position women in caregiving roles and responsible for the emotional and domestic labor, also inhibit women’s sexual agency in relationships, contributing to gender differences in relationship benefits.

Women also face greater risks in romantic relationships than men. As the target article acknowledges, women are disproportionately affected by intimate partner violence, with one in three women globally experiencing it in their lifetime (World Health Organization, 2024). Violence against women functions as a tool of patriarchal control, reinforcing gender hierarchies by punishing women who challenge men’s dominance or deviate from traditional roles (Hearn & Whitehead, Reference Hearn and Whitehead2006). These gendered risks are another example of how broader gender inequities underlie why women and men differ in relationship well-being.

In closing, we argue that men’s greater well-being from romantic relationships can be understood through the lens of structural gender inequities that shape emotional labor, domestic responsibilities, sexual dynamics, and safety. Recognizing the broader inequities underlying these differences is important given that gender-based attitudes, such as benevolent sexism, are often viewed positively (Hopkins-Doyle et al., Reference Hopkins-Doyle, Sutton, Douglas and Calogero2018), despite evidence of the costs (Alba, Cross, & Hammond, Reference Alba, Cross and Hammond2024). Viewing gender differences in the well-being benefits of romantic relationships through this lens highlights strategies for increasing gender parity in romantic relationships, including challenging restrictive gender roles, promoting equitable emotional and domestic labor, and expanding men’s emotional networks beyond their romantic partners.