In their excellent article, Kruglanski et al. present a model that describes how positive qualities of the beloved (i.e., the merit factor), the beloved’s concern for the lover (i.e., the appreciation factor), and the lover’s need for feeling significant (i.e., the significance quest factor) interact to influence love. The authors provide a thoughtful and thorough discussion of each factor and the various ways they interact. At times throughout the manuscript, however, falling in love seems to be conflated with becoming involved in a romantic relationship (and being in love with being in a romantic relationship), even though those are distinct phenomena. For example, while it is possible to fall or be in love with someone without their consent or even without their awareness, the initiation and maintenance of romantic relationships requires consent from both partners.

In line with the notion that romantic love and romantic relationships are distinct, not all romantic relationships are loving. People are sometimes in a romantic relationship for reasons other than romantic love, such as when the relationship fulfills some need (e.g., money, housekeeping, sex, protection, child care, status, personal growth) (Finkel et al., Reference Finkel, Cheung, Emery, Carswell and Larson2015), including but not limited to arranged marriages (Kurup & Kurup, Reference Kurup and Kurup2003). Conversely, romantic love does not solely happen within romantic relationships. For example, people may develop love feelings for someone before they become involved in a romantic relationship with that person (Langeslag, Muris, & Franken, Reference Langeslag, Muris and Franken2013) and may still experience love feelings after a romantic relationship has ended (Bringle, Winnick, & Rydell, Reference Bringle, Winnick and Rydell2013; Langeslag & Sanchez, Reference Langeslag and Sanchez2018). People sometimes experience love feelings that are not reciprocated and may love someone they have never been and will never be in a romantic relationship with. People can even experience love feelings for someone they have never interacted with. For example, people can experience love at first sight (Zsok et al., Reference Zsok, Haucke, De Wit and Barelds2017), and some people develop one-sided, parasocial love feelings for celebrities (Bringle et al., Reference Bringle, Winnick and Rydell2013; Erickson, Reference Erickson2018) or even fictional characters in movies, TV shows, video games, and books (Karhulahti & Välisalo, Reference Karhulahti and Välisalo2021; Tuchakinsky, Reference Tuchakinsky2011). Therefore, it is crucial to distinguish between romantic love and romantic relationships. It would be helpful to specify whether and why Kruglanski’s model applies to falling/being in love, forming/maintaining romantic relationships, or both.

Moreover, even though Kruglanski et al. state that their definition of love is “construed broadly, encompassing a momentary emotional experience of falling in love as well as an enduring attitude of love in a stable romantic relationship,” the model might not apply to some of the forms of love that are not a “two-way street.” Specifically, while it is possible for lovers who are in love with someone they are not in a romantic relationship with to be aware of the merit of the beloved, they might not know whether their beloved has any appreciation (such as care, concern, and positive regard) for them. In some of those situations, the lover may even be painfully aware that their beloved has no appreciation for them. Because the model predicts that people should not fall (or be) in love if the appreciation factor is zero, the model does not seem to apply to love phenomena such as unreciprocated love, love at first sight, or parasocial love. While such restrictions do not invalidate the model, it would be helpful to explore further what kind of love phenomena the model does and does not apply to.